Wednesday, January 18, 2012

what it takes to be a " Good" Mom...

I THANK God for the privilege of having been a parent for over twenty four years. I am humbled by the opportunity to have been a mother, THE MOTHER of three beautiful people with different personalities: Maria Johanna, Buen Jason, & Johanna Maree. I am not perfect, though my husband & I did our very best to raise our children the way God wants them to be. I hope that these three BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE will soon realize that they're not projects that must be accomplished according to precise procedures. May they will realized that the JOY of being their mother is not just pleasant feelings of happiness when circumstances transpire as desired, that they're not promotional displays for me and to their dad. Nga dili ug wala sila gihimong GUARANTEE, nor have been regarded as trophies and status symbols to enhance the reputation, popularity, positions to us. Ug labaw sa nga tanan, as a mother, & as parents we cannot make the choices of life for them. :)           -jonaritarimandocraveRN-


Among the parents, the mother has a much larger role to play in a child’s life. Who is a good mother? How to be a good mother? Many women do not have any clue on what traits makes a good mother. What you feel good may not be necessarily good for the child. Each woman is unique by age, background, education and experience and each child is unique too. There are too many variables in parenting and they shift from day to day. One important and necessary ingredient in any mothering style is flexibility. In this age where woman work and have successful careers, to be a stay at home Mom and take care of children is not that easy one. But In order to succeed at mothering, one must be willing to adjust a style according to the current and ever changing needs of a child. 

some good Qualities  a good mother to develop:
  - be a good Example: Since the mother is the most important person in the life of a child it is important for her to be a role model and example that the child can look up to, appreciate and honor. Whatever the child observes from a mother, such as household habits, manners, the way she carries relationships with others, the way she spends time with the father of the child and in general her lifestyle, these will all undoubtedly affects the child’s character formation. For instance, if the child notices the love and respect a wife displays for her husband, or others that would be the prepared foundation of a child to be loving and affectionate mate when they get married later in life and be respectful to own parents. At the same time when a child sees the parents are disrespectful and arguing always, they are influenced by that too. Admit when you do something wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. Also explain how and why you did what you did and why you think it is wrong. This teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Many times you also might have been affected from the mistakes your parents did which you would never want to do to your own kids. Sometimes there may be good things which your parents did which you want your child to experience too. That way our own parents help us to be able to be good parents because by now you know what kind of parent you want to be or how you don't want to be.
 - be always available: the initial years of childhood the child needs the mother more. It is very important for the mother to spend time with the child. It is okay to be a friend or buddy to your child but remember that ultimately you are their parent and it is your responsibility to provide them moral and ethical guidance. A good mother is compassionate and gentle but firm in discipline. A good mother is someone who is there when her child needs her and who puts her child's needs above her own. It is normally seen that the mothers are normally protective about the children. It is essential not to be overprotective to enable the child to develop as an individual and learn from experiences. A good mother is someone who is willing to be a shoulder to cry on and to stand firm in her child's time of need even if you do not agree.
 - patience & love: A mother’s love is unmatched. To a good mother, you are special no matter you are young or old, healthy or handicapped, troublesome or obedient.  A mother should also rebuke or show disapproval when she feels that the child has done something wrong without losing the child’s respect for her.  A mother teaches the child the right manners and set moral and ethical values.
 - be the Good Listener: A good mother is a good listener as well. She spends quality time with her children and patiently listens to them when they talk, talk back and argue and should provide the quality advice and help them in negative circumstances. A good mother is always an approachable person for a child to talk.  A good mother provides a stable and strong foundation for her kids to grow and develop as an individual. Encourage children according to their potential and tries to bring out the best in each child.  A mother’s gentle guidance can remedy many flaws and weakness in the character of the child.  It is said that a good mom knows the whereabouts of the child and who her child’s friends are. A good mother will always be there for the child and helps them set out on their own path.
 - responsibility: being a mother is a full time career. If you have brought the child to the world then also be ready to accept the responsibilities that comes along with motherhood.  A good mother makes sure that the requirements of the child are met. She always remember the special days of the child like birthday and makes him special by celebrating the day. Though, don't give into everything your kid asked for. Many times a mother have to give up a great deal for the sake of the child. Many times a mother gives up her time, her sleep, pleasures etc, to ensure that the child is all right....