Wednesday, January 18, 2012

what it takes to be a " Good" Mom...

I THANK God for the privilege of having been a parent for over twenty four years. I am humbled by the opportunity to have been a mother, THE MOTHER of three beautiful people with different personalities: Maria Johanna, Buen Jason, & Johanna Maree. I am not perfect, though my husband & I did our very best to raise our children the way God wants them to be. I hope that these three BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE will soon realize that they're not projects that must be accomplished according to precise procedures. May they will realized that the JOY of being their mother is not just pleasant feelings of happiness when circumstances transpire as desired, that they're not promotional displays for me and to their dad. Nga dili ug wala sila gihimong GUARANTEE, nor have been regarded as trophies and status symbols to enhance the reputation, popularity, positions to us. Ug labaw sa nga tanan, as a mother, & as parents we cannot make the choices of life for them. :)           -jonaritarimandocraveRN-

Among the parents, the mother has a much larger role to play in a child’s life. Who is a good mother? How to be a good mother? Many women do not have any clue on what traits makes a good mother. What you feel good may not be necessarily good for the child. Each woman is unique by age, background, education and experience and each child is unique too. There are too many variables in parenting and they shift from day to day. One important and necessary ingredient in any mothering style is flexibility. In this age where woman work and have successful careers, to be a stay at home Mom and take care of children is not that easy one. But In order to succeed at mothering, one must be willing to adjust a style according to the current and ever changing needs of a child. 

some good Qualities  a good mother to develop:
  - be a good Example: Since the mother is the most important person in the life of a child it is important for her to be a role model and example that the child can look up to, appreciate and honor. Whatever the child observes from a mother, such as household habits, manners, the way she carries relationships with others, the way she spends time with the father of the child and in general her lifestyle, these will all undoubtedly affects the child’s character formation. For instance, if the child notices the love and respect a wife displays for her husband, or others that would be the prepared foundation of a child to be loving and affectionate mate when they get married later in life and be respectful to own parents. At the same time when a child sees the parents are disrespectful and arguing always, they are influenced by that too. Admit when you do something wrong and don't be afraid to apologize. Also explain how and why you did what you did and why you think it is wrong. This teaches your kids that it's okay to make mistakes, as well as the importance of an apology. Many times you also might have been affected from the mistakes your parents did which you would never want to do to your own kids. Sometimes there may be good things which your parents did which you want your child to experience too. That way our own parents help us to be able to be good parents because by now you know what kind of parent you want to be or how you don't want to be.
 - be always available: the initial years of childhood the child needs the mother more. It is very important for the mother to spend time with the child. It is okay to be a friend or buddy to your child but remember that ultimately you are their parent and it is your responsibility to provide them moral and ethical guidance. A good mother is compassionate and gentle but firm in discipline. A good mother is someone who is there when her child needs her and who puts her child's needs above her own. It is normally seen that the mothers are normally protective about the children. It is essential not to be overprotective to enable the child to develop as an individual and learn from experiences. A good mother is someone who is willing to be a shoulder to cry on and to stand firm in her child's time of need even if you do not agree.
 - patience & love: A mother’s love is unmatched. To a good mother, you are special no matter you are young or old, healthy or handicapped, troublesome or obedient.  A mother should also rebuke or show disapproval when she feels that the child has done something wrong without losing the child’s respect for her.  A mother teaches the child the right manners and set moral and ethical values.
 - be the Good Listener: A good mother is a good listener as well. She spends quality time with her children and patiently listens to them when they talk, talk back and argue and should provide the quality advice and help them in negative circumstances. A good mother is always an approachable person for a child to talk.  A good mother provides a stable and strong foundation for her kids to grow and develop as an individual. Encourage children according to their potential and tries to bring out the best in each child.  A mother’s gentle guidance can remedy many flaws and weakness in the character of the child.  It is said that a good mom knows the whereabouts of the child and who her child’s friends are. A good mother will always be there for the child and helps them set out on their own path.
 - responsibility: being a mother is a full time career. If you have brought the child to the world then also be ready to accept the responsibilities that comes along with motherhood.  A good mother makes sure that the requirements of the child are met. She always remember the special days of the child like birthday and makes him special by celebrating the day. Though, don't give into everything your kid asked for. Many times a mother have to give up a great deal for the sake of the child. Many times a mother gives up her time, her sleep, pleasures etc, to ensure that the child is all right....

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Si I see Him by Heart...

Papa here, with his mga kapatid
(L-R: Auntie Carie, Uncle Beb, Uncle Ping, Auntie Kitz, (Papa) & Auntie Jo

Papa, is not a fancy dresser, he's not fanatic

of brands. With few simple & clean clothes,
pants, slippers and shoes
that he wears upon his feet. 

He don't belong to any club & organization, except with the senior citizen organization.
Mama & Papa
He never owned & drived a shiny car, he don't even go too far!
He never dined in a fine cuisine, fast food and resto for him is a treat. He just use a simple stainless spoon & fork or just bare "kinamot".
Papa, has only the nipa house which almost & always run out of everything. He keeps his lawn from twigs, and trim the grass...
Papa works with his not stable job, a land surveyor for long time now, gamay ra ug kita, usahay dili pa gyud sakto ang bayad, but he can NEVER complain for some reasons he only know... Even if he is sick and tired

he has to work so bad!

Papa do not have the MATERIAL things, but
 only few good friends and family makes his life complete.
He is not well versed in conversing businessmen, only
 some wisdom he instantly imparts.
Papa and Mama embraced simplicity in life together for riches doesn't taste.

Papa & Mama sa dining table...
Material wealth God doesn't give him, what he had was us, his children to treasure in his life, TWO HANDSOME SONS & FIVE BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS
and a very special wife,...

Papa doesn't have money, and his life is not a show, but for me, he is the richest man I know.
Si Papa para sa uban is just an ordinary poor man, & fame he's never had,
but he is the greatest man I ever knew...,
HE IS MY DAD, & HE LOVES my MOM so much! Salamat Pa!

Papa & Mama sa may veranda sa among balay...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

....Si Andoy ug si Padre Agaton....

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, Philippines, there lived a  fourth grader boy who would follow a route to school everyday:  He has to  cross the rugged plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are  recklessly driving to and from.  

 Once past this highway, the boy  would take a short cut, passing by the Church every morning just to say Hi  to God, and faithfully say his, "Magandang umaga po" in Bicol dialect. He  was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so  uplifting in the morning,
 "Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka  na?"
 "Opo padre ... "he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would  be touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to  Andoy.
 "From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you  can pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of  the road...that way I can see that you are home safe...."
 "Thank you  father ...  "

 "Why don't  you go home ... why  do you stay  in this church right after school?"
 "I just want to  say  'Hi'   to my  friend, God,"    and the  priest would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking to  himself, but the priest was hiding behind the altar to listen to what this  boy has to say to his heavenly FATHER.
 "You know my math exam was  pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although my seatmate is bullying me  for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my water, Itay had a bad season  and all I can eat is this cracker.
 Thank you for this! I saw a poor  kitten who was hungry and I know how he feels so I gave my last cracker to  him ... funny but I am not that hungry.
 Look, this is my last pair of  slippers ...I may have to walk barefoot next week, you see this is about to  be broken... but it is least I am still going to school.... Some  say we will have a hard season this month, some of my classmates have  already stopped going to school .... please help them get to school again,  please God?
 ....Oh, you know, Inay hit me again, it is painful, but I  know this pain will pass away, at least I still have a mother.... God, you  want to see my bruises? I know you can heal them.... Here... here and ....  oh ...blood ....I guess you knew about this one huh? Please don't be mad at  Inay, she is just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my  schooling that is why she hits us....Oh, I think I am in love ... there's  this pretty girl in my class, her name is Anita ... do you think she  will like me? Anyway, at least I know you will always  like me, I don't have to be anybody just to please you, you are my very  best friend! Hey your birthday is two days from now!!! Aren't you excited?  I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for you . but it is a surprise! I  hope you will like it! Oooops, I have to go ..." then he stood up and calls  out, "Padre, padre, I am finished talking to my friend ....
 youcan  accompany me to the other side of the road now"
 This routine happens  everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton shares this every Sunday to the  people in his church because he has not seen a very pure faith and trust in  God, a very positive look at negative situations.
 One Christmas day,  Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it in the Church, he was sent  to the hospital. The Church was left to 4 manangs who would chant the  rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and would always find fault  in what you do, they were also very well versed in cursing if you irritate  them! They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when Andoy, coming  from his Christmas party,playfully dashed in.
 "Hello God! I  ......"
 "P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!!  Alis!!"

 Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is  supposed to help me cross the street ... and to be able to cross the street  I will have to pass by the back door of this church .not only that, I  have to greet Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here....

 "  Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang  pulled his shirt and threw him out of the church. "Susmaryosep!!! (does the  sign of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan  ka!!!
 So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the  road in front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came  in.
 There was a blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside  his shirt, so he was not looking. There was so little time. Andoy died  on the spot. A lot of people crowded the poor boy, the body of a lifeless  young boy ...
 Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in a pure white shirt  and pants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears... He  came and carried the boy in His arms. He was crying. Curious bystanders  nudged the man in white, and asked,
 "Excuse me sir, are you related  to this child?
 Do you know this child?"

 The man in white, His  face mourning and in agony, looked up and answered,
 "He was my best  friend . " was all he said. He took the badly wrapped gift in the bloody  chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near His heart.
 He stood up  and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight.
 The crowd  was curious ...
 On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking  news. He visited the house, and wanted to verify about the man in white. He  consulted the parents of Andoy.
 "How did you know that your son  died?"
 "A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother. "What  did he say?"
 The father answered, "He did not say anything. He was  mourning. We do not know him and yet he was very lonely about our son's  death, as if he knew our son  very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about  him.
 He gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He brushed my  son's hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he  whispered something..."
 "What did he say?"
 "He said to my  boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift .... I will see you soon  ... you will be with me..." and the father of the boy continued, "and you  know for a while, it felt so
 wonderful ... I cried, but I do not know  why....all I know is I cried tears of joy .... I could not explain it,  Father, but when that man left, something peaceful came over me, I felt a  deep sense
 of love inside ... I could not explain the joy in my heart,  I knew my boy is in heaven now but...tell me, Father, who is this man that  my son talks to everyday in your church, you should know because you are  always there ... except at the time of his death ......"Father Agaton  suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with
 trembling knees,  he murmurred, " ... He was talking to no one ......
 but ..  GOD...."

Sunday, August 28, 2011 sister is a Sister!...

Having sisters  can either be wonderful or terrible experience, but it depends on your relationship. Mine, I have four, all were younger than me. Some are married, and one is in the service of the church because she's a  nun.  


God sent us to be sisters
and also to be as friends
To be there for one another
Even when there is pain...
I thank the Lord for sending my sisters to me
For whom I truly love and care
We shared so many things together
Like laughter and some scares...
It’s funny and sometimes makalagot how we argue
I guess its normal, in this world too!
But, having you as one among my sister
Means more to me, more than you'll ever know..
I wouldn’t trade you for anything
whenever, wherever, and whatever
As our friendship continues to grow
So will my love for you
Just always remember you can talk to me 
I'll be the best friend you ever knew...
Manalangin kanimo kanunay ang Ginoo Deng, diha sa vocation nga gi pili nimo! it's me your Manang Jona.

si Dedeng--Sr. Juliet, my sister...


Thursday, August 25, 2011

...those little eyes watching YOU...

dear Maria,

I found this in a website and I'm sure it fits for you myFriend...

There are little eyes upon you

and they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little boy who's dreaming
of the day he'll be like you.
You're the little fellow's idol,
you're the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly,
holds all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way
when he's grown up just like you.
There's a wide eyed little fellow
who believes you're always right;
and his eyes are always opened,
and he watches day and night.
You are setting an example
every day in all you do;

For the little boy who's waiting
to grow up to be like you.

Monday, August 22, 2011

When God Created Mothers.

When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around this one my Lord?.”
And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; she had 180 moveable parts all replaceable; she can run on black coffee and leftovers; she has a lap that disappears when she stands up; her kisses can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And I especially made six pairs of hands on her ONLY.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands? no way my Lord.”
The good Lord answered: “It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,”…I also make it sure that she had three pairs of eyes that only MOTHERS like her have to have.”
“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, “What are you kids doing in there?” when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, “I understand and I Love You” without so much uttering a word.”
“Lord”, said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “go to your bed, you can finish it in another day, except Tomorrow…”
“I can’t,” said the Lord, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick… can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger… and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
“But tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
“Can it think?” asked the angel.
“Not only think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak here my Lord,” she pronounced. “I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “it’s a tear.”
“a TEAR my LOrd? What’s it for?”
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.”
“You are a genius my Lord,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there.”

Women come in all sizes,colors and shapes
nobody in this world could ever equate a WOMAN, specially a MOTHER. 
she can smile when in truth she wanted to scream.
she could go without new shoes so her children can have them.
cry when children excel 
give compassion and ideals.
we’re strong when we think there is no strength left.
-Jonarita Isabelita R. Crave, RN-

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

- David J. Pollay's "The Law of The Garbage Truck"-

One speech was delivered by a proud, boastful, arrogant person ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>>>
 How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of your success is how quickly you can refocus on what’s important in your life.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. And I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, the car skidded, the tires squealed, and at the very last moment our car stopped just one inch from the other car’s back-end.

I couldn’t believe it. But then I couldn’t believe what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. How do I know? Ask any New Yorker, some words in New York come with a special face. And he even threw in a one finger salute! I couldn’t believe it!

But then here’s what really blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that!? This guy could have killed us!” And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck™.” He said:
"Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.
So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier."
So I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street? It was then that I said, “I don’t want their garbage and I’m not going to spread it anymore.”

I began to see Garbage Trucks. Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.” Well now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to dump it. And like my taxi driver, I don’t take it personally; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.
One of my favorite football players of all time was Walter Payton. Every day on the football field, after being tackled, he would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Over the years the best players from around the world in every sport have played this way: Muhammad Ali, Nadia Comaneci, Bjorn Borg, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan, Jackie Robinson, and Pele are just some of those players. And the most inspiring leaders have lived this way: Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King.

See, Roy Baumeister, a psychology researcher from Florida State University, found in his extensive research that you remember bad things more often than good things in your life. You store the bad memories more easily, and you recall them more frequently.

So the odds are against you when a Garbage Truck comes your way. But when you follow The Law of the Garbage Truck™, you take back control of your life. You make room for the good by letting go of the bad.

The best leaders know that they have to be ready for their next meeting. The best sales people know that they have to be ready for their next client. And the best parents know that they have to be ready to greet their children with hugs and kisses, no matter how many garbage trucks they might have faced that day. All of us know that we have to be fully present, and at our best for the people we care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their lives.